Perspective

Friends,

An international conflict mediator recently wrote that her Cambodian translator told her there was no word in his language that translated to perspective. Things were either fact or true and there was no acceptance that there might be diverse ways of seeing, experiencing, or understanding them. The mediator goes on to reflect how the concept of perspective, or differing points of view and diverse interpretation, is central to mediating divisive differences. And this is true, of course, whether at an international level or in our personal relationships.

Until recently, obvious as it is, I hadn’t thought that much about the crucial importance of honoring varying perspectives in this complex political climate - and in my own life. As a “liberal” I’m afraid I harbor the conceit that I usually already address a problem from multiple perspectives and possibilities as I seek a creative solution I hope will serve the common good. And I trust that I am thus able to offer my interpretation of the situation - with advice to follow - although I am still learning to avoid that male temptation! Can I avoid the inclination to believe my rational, circumspect perspective is probably superior to the perspective and experience of another person? Successful mediation, whether in our own household or on an international platform, depends on each party’s capacity to at least consider the possibility of an alternative point of view and then to further consider it respectfully with a certain amount of empathy, openness, and curiosity even when the differences are so apparent

So how then do we communicate with those in our own families and communities - let alone those on “the other side”  - for whom things are "simply fact or true?” Perhaps we can begin with considerable humility, curiosity and empathy,  and listen carefully to another’s perspective before (if asked!) to explain to another that we simply see things differently. I see this as one of the essentials of nonviolent communication and peace building in general.

I often consider, for example, what might constitute the perspective of a deflated and consequently angry, middle aged, white man who is experiencing such a loss of personal self esteem and agency and feels helpless against a receding imagination for a successful future for his children. I think it is fair to fault my liberal community for our failure to learn to offer the level of profound empathy needed to understand the perspective of so many disenfranchised in our society and then to commit addressing the problem. But I am also so encouraged right now - in spite of a moribund federal government - that there is a growing public rising of responsibility and accountability for how we reckon past failures and commit to better serve those in particular need. Bridging the societal gap by honing our ability to see life from differing perspectives is what we have tried to do with our Civility First program here on Whidbey, and it is the basis of a growing number of national and international programs that aspire to bridge the divisiveness. (For more information see CivilityFirst.org and Braverangels.org.)

As I close my reflection tonight I feel as though I have said nothing new to most of you. And I have not adequately led you in a direction beyond a thoughtful personal response. So I will just consider my thoughts this evening a reminder of the crucial importance of honoring and respecting the sanctity and integrity of all we meet. And, where possible, to engage their experience, their hopes and dreams, to better understand the basic different perspectives in our diverse lives.

Peace,
Tom