Codgerdom

Friends,


There’s a temptation this evening to write about the presidential election, and the debate in particular. The heavy likelihood of a pending tragedy hangs over us all. I will resist direct comments on the debate itself, but I do want to share my thoughts about what is unfolding before us, and to see if I can perhaps speak for some of you as well.

My strongest initial thoughts have focused on my personal identification with the aging Joe Biden. I can clearly resonate with his signs of codgerdom. I am of similar age and a late blooming codger myself: raspy voice, slower of speech and thought, a less steady gait, among others. But I also find myself with deep access to so much life experience and wisdom. And like many of us as we grow older I just feel more mellow, more tender toward the various levels complexity, harm, and dysfunction in this wondrous swirl of life all around me and beyond. And as I age I am simply less inclined to fuss and quarrel and more inclined to accept the idiosyncrasies of my friends, families - and myself! - as well as so much else in this crazy world. And I think I do so with grace tempered by life-honed perspective and wisdom. 

All these qualities make me an especially good grandfather, I think. And, all in all, I feel I am still able to converse intellectually with the best of my respected colleagues and professional peers. And in spite of various debilitations and health issues, I keep making peace with my aging body and the limitations it imposes on me. In other words, I see myself as an especially wise, humane, loving and lovable person in the best sense with the status of beloved codgerdom. I have come to recognize that I am at yet another phase of life. And like all the other phases of our lives I am forced to grow, to adapt, to accommodate myself into the challenges all this growth entails. And then especially to know my limits.

An important aspect of my aging reality: as much as I may have offered creative, competent leadership and support to others for much of my adult life, I no longer experience the same spark of engagement on issues of injustice that have motivated me for many years. I certainly have my strong opinions and values, and I can still write a good letter to the editor or op ed piece. But I no longer feel I need to offer the prophetic, moral voice that was so much a part of my self image and motivation in the past. And as I am no longer driven to this level of engagement, I am willing to give myself the grace of trusting there are now others who must take up that task.

So this leads me to the conclusion this evening about a critically important aspect of the aging process relative to Joe Biden. It is so crucial that I and others can accept when it is time to let others lead. Because of his difficulty in doing so, I have concluded that Joe Biden has come to embody a classic tragic figure defined as the downfall of a noble character due to a certain amount of hubris and forces he no long controls. Like me, due to his aging, he is in personal territory where he no longer is blessed with all the great capacity of mind and leadership that has served him so well over all these years. And like the figures in a classic Greek tragedy, we may end up watching the hero become a victim to be pitied as we helplessly watch his tragic drama unfold, and yet we are unable to intervene. I feel like that this evening. And I don’t know how we are to ,avert the impending tragedy before us.

I always want to end my blogs somehow with a message of hope and lift, and I need to do this this evening, even with a heavy heart.

At a personal level, and for all of us who struggle with accepting the limitations of aging, I am reminded of the importance of preparing ourselves for a grace filled, humble, yet proud, final years of our lives. Yes, some may effectively lead and serve well into their eighties and nineties, but there is such high value in allowing ourselves the recognition of lives well lived while also granting and blessing new leadership to evolve. There is a sense of fulfillment and even joy, I believe, in doing so. And we can find ways to age well independent, of course, from the strife and discouragements all around us. Whether we are elders or in the prime of life, we can claim, as many have done for millennia, a rewarding life of service, fellowship, kindness, and love that transcends aging.

Peace,

Tom