Trans

Friends,

It is a challenge to find some frame of reference to describe this uneasy transitionary time. So it occurred to me maybe I could just explore what it actually may mean to be in transition. 

Perhaps the hardest working prefix in the English language is the prefix “tran” or “trans.” Its Latin root means movement of some form: “across, through, or beyond.” I counted nearly two hundred words in my Webster dictionary that begin with “trans,” everything from transatlantic to transversal, and a lot of variations in between - you get the idea. But the “motherload” of all trans-prefixed words is the word “transition” because it so profoundly and aptly describes an intense universal dynamic of both welcome and unwelcome movement of change in human, cultural, and planetary life. Our world is nearly overwhelmed right now with transitional challenges as we move "across, through and beyond” the current state of our national, intercontinental, and earthly transformation into what will likely be a new creation. And as with any period of serious transition the tensions and conflict it creates makes us anxious, fearful, and sometimes desperate for relief from the crisis we are facing. So what might be a response?

For perspective I have turned to my training in mediation. In classic mediation process a mediator helps to identify and clarify the positions and common interests of the opposing parties. "I say my property line is here, you say it is there," and once the various positions are identified and carefully explained, the artful mediator’s role is to sensitively listen for an opening to transition to the possibility of common interest that would enable some form of agreement and resolution of the conflict: “We don’t want to involve lawyers in our dispute; we could just divide the property in question; I would be willing to pay for the disputed area," for example. One could say mediations begin with po-sitions, move through trans-itions, and hopefully then achieve some level of altered and agreeable po-sitions on the other side. But the mediation process is often very difficult because transitions nearly always involve relinquishing some level of control, privilege, safety, or fear, and resolution is not always reached. But the model of mediation does offer at least an approach for solving intractable situations when we succeed in identifying and agreeing on the basis of common interest. Consider this process the next time you are trying to settle a personal situation by identifying different points of view, or positions, as you then carefully identify a common interest that offers resolution.

But applying this model to the current political divisions, as I originally intended, can seem fruitless. I wonder, for any who dare try, whether it is even possible to mediate the starkly different positions right now on governance as proposed by the Trump agenda and those of a constitutional democracy? One position is to intend to disrupt or demolish established systems of our government versus preserving a democratic system accountable to the rule of law and a system of check and balance. What might be the common interest between these two so divergent positions on governance? I expect the struggle for control of these competing positions will be the heart of the national political drama and conflict for the next several years. But I am still going to be hopeful that a way will open. Like good mediators, we will do well to commit to listen deeply with open hearts with the expectation that opportunities for identifying common interests that will make eventual resolution of our differences possible.

In a completely different but related context, I also want to explore the current common use of the word “trans” as it refers to the transition of gender identity. I have only limited knowledge of the challenges incurred during this process, but I have known people now over a number of years who have made this courageous and, for many, ultimately liberating decision to commit to change a gender identity. My understanding is that the process involves a great deal of personal mediated discernment before a final decision can be made. Not only does a person undergo physical and emotional transitions and transformations, they are doing so often within a context of familial and societal judgmental scrutiny, and I deeply honor those who follow this path. I think of a young person I know who courageously completed a gender transition, and I have watched a sadly withdrawn person come alive and emerge with bright eyes, self-confidence and a sense of joy. We need to believe, no matter how difficult, like gender transitions, of all sorts of transitions can be ultimately liberating and fulfilling. 

As difficult a “rebirthing” as gender transition may be, it is an inspiring model for the wider world of change that must also courageously confront and overcome  debilitating dissonance and likely resistance if we are to ever to achieve a level of positive integrity and liberation. Our whole world is now a “trans” world with all the risks and challenges subject to any meaningful transition process. 

And finally, any experienced mediator will empathize the key to a mediated success is the ability to engage in profound, attentive listening with curiosity and an open heart to the pain and trauma that likely initiated the disputed conflict in the first place before meaningful engagement can occur. I think how important it would be to listen to a person who identifies the need for a gender transition if we are to accompany them through the process. Healing and transformational transitions depend on those in conflict feeling seen and heard. An important antidote to personal and wider societal conflict, then, will be to find ways to extend the light of patient listening and support for people and institutions who need our support.

For those of us able to do so, may we somehow have the grace and good will to give, and perhaps receive, help and support as we all transition from the current national crisis we are facing.

Peace,
Tom