Three-legged stool

Friends,

I’ve often referred to my life as attempting to find balance on a three-legged stool. When I was raising a family the challenge was to balance my work, my family time, and my personal time. And it was usually a wobble. If I spent too much time relative to my other responsibilities, I felt off balance. The major imbalance was usually that I never felt I spent enough time with my family - as much as I tried - because my family was dependent on my income. But I also needed alone time for a walk or to play some basketball. I was actually privileged enough to have a good deal control over my life, however, so I never really tumbled over.

I write all this because my life again feels like a balancing act, albeit with differing demands and choices. How much time do I choose to spend following the news? How much attention do I need to give to my wife, family, and friends? And how much alone time do I need to try to maintain my own equilibrium? Common sense and daily advice columns emphasize the importance of healthy distractions from the political stress that, no matter how hard we may try, seems to catch up to us.

Yes, I still spend too much time on the news and various commentaries. But I really have tried to double down on my regular quiet time, a daily walk, and a commitment to stay in closer touch with calls to my current and old friends. I take more time these days to journal as I sort through my thoughts and feeling by writing them down. I also find I am especially enjoying more group fellowship, especially over meals, perhaps now more than ever because it is so important not to feel too alone at this time.

I believe every single one of us shares some level of anxiety, stress, confusion, and just underlying, undifferentiated anxiety. On top of our general anxiety many of us are experiencing our own health issues or sharing the health issues of others. And members of our friends and family are waiting to find out what impact the government cuts will have on their employment or personal safety. It is difficult to try to process all the uncertainties, yet they confound us on a daily basis. And there is little right now we can do to resolve many of the problems we face.

And then we realize the relative security most of us have, especially as white, middle class. I can only imagine the level of anxiety, danger, and fear of those feel who are personally vulnerable to direct physical harm or the loss of their freedom and rights. How are they able to balance their precarious lives?

The answer to all this, we hope, “is blowin’ in the wind” toward a more stable future. In the meantime, I want to close by envisioning a three-legged stool occupied not by an individual but by whole communities of which we are a part. Where one “leg” of our community is off balance, another “leg” will be there to steady us. I specifically think of our need to support the immigrant families. How can we best be there for them? And we need to be aware of our trans friends and families. A popular lapel butte these days reads “Your Safe With Me” against a rainbow background, and many of us plan to wear one every day. For all those whose funding sources and employment are at risk let us listen carefully to their anxiety. And as much as we are able, let us support organizations that continue to serve those dependent on federal money for basic needs, both domestically and internationally. And finally let us join those who are strategically and courageously pushing back against the policies that endanger us.

Now that’s a lot of occupants on our three-legged stools. But the image of crucial aid in offering balance and mutual support still holds. We are in precarious times. We need each other more than ever. Let us gather with love and a commitment to living out the alternative world of nonviolence and kindness.

Peace, Tom