Pending

Friends,

Much of life during the Covid 19 pandemic, and now the Trump administration, can be characterized by living in a suspended period of time as we uneasily await resolution from the web of uncertainty that holds us. The word I have chosen to describe this phenomenon is “pending.” 

The word “pending” is derived from the French verb pendre, to hang, as in pendant, and it also has an interesting family of related words - impending, suspending, depending - that all imply a certain amount of "waiting and delay until further notice.” In contemporary terms we often say “hang in there” when we say good-bye to a friend who is facing some difficulty as we encourage them to keep going in spite of the difficulty they face.

For the past month I have had a sticky note on my desk labeled “Pending.” It begins with a list in my own immediate, personal goals (finish planting garden, work on memoir, etc.), and then I have added wider categories, like planning for family summer visits and following up on ideas for changes in our Quaker meeting. These notes are labeled “pending" because they involve a certain amount delayed discernment as I need more time or information before I can proceed. I suppose all times of life have similar lists, but the underlying uncertainty of this particular time is creating a more intense hum of anxiety around our lives, and I find it helpful to at least record and follow my personal intentions although I have so little opportunity to engage the wider threats imposed upon us. 

So what does it mean “to hang in there” during the Trump administration? The Covid years were defined by various pending announcements about the how to protect ourselves and the causes of the disease and cure. But the Trump era is a threat of a whole new dimension. Covid was a personal immediate lethal disease; the Trump threat is more of a slow, precipitous slide into a terminal illness that threatens our democracy and our presumed protection coming from the Constitution and the law. And I chafe at being aware of the injustices impacting so many people and yet not knowing how I can meaningfully act with some effect. So I mostly wait, read the news, talk with friends, try not to fear the worst, and often go to bed with a heavy heart for all the DOGE disrupted lives, the withdrawal of life support for millions, and the horrors of US supported warfare and arms sales. So I live in a state of “pending” until we will experience some relief. 

What does NOT have to be on the “pending” list is how we can, right now, still be living fulfilling lives by tending our family and friends with loving attention, offering some level of political opposition to the injustices, and supporting those who offer courageous leadership. And perhaps, just as important, we can nurture our own mental, physical and spiritual health with rest, meditation, prayers, and community to maintain our capacity to be a fully available and present as much as possible to the needs of others.

I understand that when our anxiety may be so overwhelming our only option to preserve our health is to step back - no news, no engagement over controversies, no rants about the outrageous initiatives of leadership and the failure to uphold the oaths and humanity for which they are responsible. And I take that as an appropriate medicine to be taken as needed. But we cannot withhold our responsibility to also discomfort our errant leadership while offering comfort to our friends and family in a shared journey through awaiting light at the end of the “dark tunnel” that is pending in our lives.

So life is subject always to a certain amount of “pending.” I’m imagining the various “pendings" in our life cycles: waiting for a birth, or a child's excitement waiting for a coming birthday celebration, a move or a new job, through all the hours spent awaiting diagnoses and treatments associated with medical care as we age. Especially as we face a pending relief from the Trump maelstrom we can accompany each other with solace and encouragement. So “hang in there!"

Peace,

Tom