Conviction

Friends,

I have been preoccupied this week thinking about conviction. My thoughts about conviction were initiated by listening to Trump’s speech Tuesday evening and recognizing how deep a conviction he has for the righteousness of his MAGA cause. In addition to his ego and narcissism, the man is apparently deeply convinced that the bullet that only wounded him meant that God spared him to carry out his MAGA mission. At some level I have to accept his powerful belief in himself and his belief in his cause. And his certainty provides confidence in him from his base. 

At a personal level, however, I find the concept of conviction often confusing. As a Christian liberal my convictions tend to be flexible, pluralistic and center around ideas of democracy, inclusiveness, love, and the respect and dignity of each person. These are not the type of convictions that lead me to absolutes and righteousness but to a sense of humility before the complexity and wonder of life. I have found it disconcerting, however, to then feel I cannot protect myself from those so driven by their certainty. Like so many right now, our national viability seems so vulnerable in the face of the onslaught of the “shock and awe” strategy of the Trump administration. I don’t accept this fate. So I have been digging deep in myself and examples in literature that provide some perspective and direction. 

I have long been haunted by the opening stanza of W.B, Yeats poem “The Second Coming.*

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

The Yeats poem seems to describe a state of discouragement many are feeling just now, that so many of us lack sufficient conviction to counter the injustice we see. So I need to ask, “Do I really lack conviction?” Are my values only lukewarm, tepid, that only provide me safety, protection, and comfort? Am I capable of a robust commitment to live fully into my values especially when they arise out of kindness and compassion that are soft emotions versus a more violent and aggressive set of values. (Yes, it is possible to have primary values of control and submission. I read this week that when we worship power and wealth, compassion and mercy are sins.)

I am reminded of a forum in the 1980’s, mostly attended by strong conservative clergy, on an upcoming vote for gay rights I was asked to represent the gay rights position. After I explained my journey from my prejudiced youth against gay people to my then current support for gay rights, an aggressive questioner asked me if Quakers actually have any convictions given I was ignoring his understanding of Scripture. Was I to respond by defending our Quaker heritage of courageous historical efforts to confront injustice? I chose instead to assure him that, indeed, I did have convictions. But that confrontation challenged me to explore how firm my convictions were. I began to include a line in my daily prayer for clarity and conviction to remind me how important it is to constantly ask myself how clear I am about my ultimate values that I try to live by. And even more challenging, what convictions would I be willing to suffer and die for?

These are heavy reflections. But I do have a couple of thoughts to share in response.

I am convinced, for example, that there is a gracious Great Order, a God, of the universe that represents the ultimate values of Love and Truth. And it follows that I believe there is a force more powerful than hatred and evil that, in a woefully inadequate term, I call nonviolence. And I am convinced that the world has an essential goodness and fullness in what we term life - in nature, in humanity, in the flow of turbulent history. We are given the wondrous choice of how we want to respond to our world and our lives, and we do have a choice. In biblical terms, "I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse: therefore choose life.” (Duerteronomy 30:19) Unfortunately, our choices often result in the disasters of war and dominance that have plagued history as well. 

So now back to the reality of our daily lives. What choices do we have to live out our convictions in what seems to be an ever uncertain time and a repressive government. Yesterday I got a big boost of inspiration and encouragement that has given me hope. I attended a mass rally at Seattle Center to “Stand For Science.” Thousands of people showed up, so many of them enthusiastic young people. The outstanding speakers told about the impact  the DOGE cuts were having on their clinical and research work. And there was such a strong sense of solidarity and, yes, conviction, in their speeches and in the crowd. These were not passive respondents, but voices of integrity and power, and however long it may take, I am, yes, convinced they will overcome the hardships they and we are now facing. 

And I also am excited by the challenge presented to us during the Trump administration’s wild ride of disruption. I am hoping that our complacency about the injustices, waste and corruption of our society and the world can be outed, and we can reform and reestablish the ideals we espouse in our founding documents and in the compassionate messages of our various religious beliefs. I was so aware yesterday at the rally, for example, how important it is that we educate people about the crucial importance of science that we so easily can take for granted.

Here’s a follow-up suggestion to my post. ” What are your strongest, even bedrock, convictions of your life? How do they impact your life?

Blessings and peace,
Tom

*The Second Coming
W. B. Yeats
1865 – 1939
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?