Common Health

Friends,

I have spent a fair amount of time in hospitals and doctor’s offices recently, and these experiences are filled with an abundance of healthy wisdom about the best of our human condition, including especially hefty side orders of humility and wonder. I have learned two specific lessons.

The first lesson is that there is much more drama in the lives of people in any medical facility than we can see, or perhaps even imagine. When we are hospitalized, or we wait for medical appointments, or, even more dramatically, find ourselves in the hospital emergency room, we may wonder how various fellow patients are coping with their illness, often heroically, and who they can rely on for support. Although the extent of each person’s drama itself is not visible or known, what we can see is how much simple care and kindness is shown, usually between the patient and an attentive caregiver, whether professional, family or friend. I see patient vulnerability addressed with a soft word of comfort and care; I see medical staff, by and large, responding to the patient’s pain, anxiety and fear with professional protocol, empathy, and respect. I am often deeply touched by these various expressions of compassion and support, especially to children, and I am thus provided a deep appreciation for the best of our humanity, even as I also acknowledge that no all are receiving the care they need.

The second lesson is a heightened awareness the importance of humility. We are all living in vulnerable bodies that are susceptible to disease, accident, and aging. I watch the line of people in the medical facility coming and going, some in wheelchairs; some with bandages and oxygen tanks and other appliances attached to them; many just simply deeply fatigued from their illness and the drudgery of treatment. Most have a caregiver, and I like to guess their relationship by how closely they attend to each other, and I worry about those who seem so alone. Whatever our medical condition, we can often find someone who is experiencing something worse, and the only truly human response is to pause with gratitude and humility for the blessings and relative health and support we enjoy. “There but for the grace of God go I” sums up well the humility behind this sentiment.

Many of you who are reading this are dealing with personal illnesses, or you are a caretaker for someone who is. Your support is so important whether you are offering primary support or as a loving friend who sends cards, dishes of food, phone call check-ins, or simple prayers for successful treatment and recovery. It is an intimate relational gift when we share both the travail of medical vulnerability and, if we are fortunate, to know the assurance of being held in loving support by others. Probably especially because illness and injury are such a common threat to us all, when we are exposed to the medical crises it is easier to experience the empathy and bonding in our common life together.

Each of us is likely to carry some level of medical concern all our lives that will need empathetic and professional support. Ideally, of course, we would all do well to let our medical issues remind us to live each day of our lives with a similar level of profound humility, empathy and identity with the rest of humanity with whom we share the common fate of living with vulnerable bodies and minds. And may this bond bring us closer to our common humanity and be a source of healing from our divisiveness, our deep loneliness, and our preoccupation with ourselves. May we instead learn to share, with tender humility, how much we have in common as we all engage in the care of our bodies and those of family and friends.

Peace, Tom