Caregiving

Friends,

My post this evening is actually a prayer of gratitude for the gift of caregiving. I am truly amazed and deeply touched by how much of human endeavor involves a commitment to accompany, tend and intimately support each other. So here’s a prayer of gratitude for the deep grace of caregiving and the precious bond it represents in holding us together in loving mutual support..

Of course, my specific prayers of gratitude for caregivers start with all within our own families who so faithfully and devotedly care for parents, grandparents, siblings or other members of their family, especially during times of chronic or critical care . Sometimes the caregiving simply includes living in the same home or nearby, but long distance, repeated visits across the miles, or regular phone calls are also so much a part of so many of our lives, often over many years. While much effort and sacrifice are involved, caregivers regrettably seldom receive appreciation for the commitment their lives represent. And all this is complicated, of course, because so many of us live apart from our families. I suspect many of you can identify with my observations.

I am also so aware of how many of us also offer or receive caregiving on a professional basis. I think of all the medical providers who have cared for me with such diligence and empathy over the past couple of years, for example. And I am always impressed with those devoted to the care of small children especially, and for all in the teaching, counseling, mentoring and therapeutic professions who assist our children and families through the challenges of their often difficult development. 

Because I have worked in prisons for a number of years, I need to offer special appreciation for the caregivers in particularly challenging and even dangerous situations. I consider those who offer safety, medical, educational, and counseling support to inmates in the prisons as performing an especially challenging role in a culture that is often devoid of trust and filled with antipathy and resentment. And caregiving in precarious situations always extends to all those who support the families of those incarcerated and the traumas of the victims of crime. 

The list of personal and professional caregivers could go on, of course, and perhaps you could offer your own prayer for a special profession or person for whom you are especially grateful for the love and attention they give to those under their care. And don’t forget to include yourself! 

I want to close with mention of my profound heartache when the means of caregiving support are frustrated or refused. The original impetus for writing this column comes from my visceral, emotional reaction to the reports of withholding medical and food supplies to the besieged and wounded people of Gaza. I don’t know if reprehensible is a strong enough word for my condemnation of this cruel negligence, but it so much the opposite of the generosity and nurture of caregiving that prevails among most of humanity.

So again we are aware of the great paradox of the human condition. Perhaps the highest level of our humanity is when we provide care for each other so tenderly, sacrificially and resolutely, yet we are also capable of cruel hard-heartedness when we neglect providing needed care. My prayer, then, is for all those who offer the gracious acts of caregiving, even as I also pray for forgiveness for those who withhold or fail to care for “the least of these” in their time of need.

And finally I pray that at the heart of our common life together we will express our gratitude to all those who serve as caregivers to us and others within the context of the sacred bonds of interdependence and mutual responsibility. We are ultimately meant to love and care for one another inspired by a belief in a loving universe and a loving God.  

Peace,
Tom